Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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