well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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