Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
