I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
