I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
