I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
