Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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