i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
