he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just found a bag of teeth...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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