i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
