No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
