Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am one with the molecules
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
