You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
