I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
