Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
where am i from again
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
