my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
