I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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