so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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