he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
