how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
