Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
