Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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