worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
