Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
