Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
