you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
