I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
