Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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