how can u be prego again
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
