i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize