Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
