just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
