i'm lost and i look like a hooker
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
should my penis look like a turkey
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
