3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
