But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
