..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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