I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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