erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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