we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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