we have officially lost it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
