Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the day after is always just damage control
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
