Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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