What did we do last night that was yellow?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
