how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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