Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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