32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
