Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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