I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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