my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Found the puke drawer
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
