Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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