And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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