hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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